Fast Food Fck up
by CharlesWarren
Summary: The pilot get some fast food...well, sort of.


I do not own Gundam Wing or Macdonald's. Obviously.

"Why do these drive-thru lines always have to be so long?" asked Duo out loud to the other young men in the vehicle from his driver-side seat.

"Because most of these fools wait until they get to the speaker before making up their small minds about what they want to order" growled Wufei from the back seat, still resenting that he wasn't able to claim the front passenger seat.

"Well, isn't that what we're doing?" asked Trowa from Wufei's left. "You can't exactly see the menu from here".

"I think Wufei means that since it's a fairly well recognized chain of restaurants, people should already know what they want from previous experience" Stated Quatre knowledgeably from Trowa's left.

"What does it matter?" asked Heero from the driver seat. "It's all the same sludge; I have no idea why we even decided to go to Macdonald's in the first place. Not to mention why we're going through the drive-thru, there's barely anyone inside the building". Heero then inched their vehicle forward so that the front bumper of their van nearly touched the rear one of the car in front of them.

"C'mon guys, we haven't eaten fast food in forever! Don't you miss the feel of a nice greasy lump of cow flesh jiggling down your esophagus?" Stated the American, with a twinkle in his eye.

"No". Stated the rest of the guys in unison.

"Well, whatever" replied Duo, a little disheartened. "We're at the speaker now anyways"

"Hi, welcome to Macdonald's, may I take your order?" said the woman's voice from the speaker in a horribly cheerful voice.

"About time, I'll have a Big Mac combo" said Heero, placing his order. Duo, Trowa, and Wufei then placed their identical orders. Finally, Quatre starts his.

"Hello, I'll have a veggie burger, onion rings, and a vanilla milkshake please" said Quatre with a smile.

"I'm sorry sir, we don't sell veggie burgers" said the speaker woman.

"Oh, alright...I'll just have the onion rings and the milkshake then" replied Quatre, a little disappointed that he waited 20 minutes and would not receive a full meal.

"Also, we're out of onion rings, sir" the speaker woman droned.

"I...uh, okay fries and a vanilla milkshake" Quatre answered, slightly annoyed. The others looked at each other with amused expressions.

"I'm sorry again sir, but we only have strawberry-banana milkshakes" the speaker woman continued.

"What the fuck, woman! Do you even sell more than that standard combo crap?" Wufei yelled at the speaker from the back.

"It's alright Wufei, the strawberry-banana milkshake sounds quite pleasant, haha..." said Quatre with a awkward smile.

"Please proceed to the window" said the cheerful speaker woman, undaunted by Wufei's outburst. Heero then pulled their van up to the window. The young men sat there for a minute in silence, awaiting their sure-to-be-fucked-up order.

"I have no doubt in my mind that our orders are going to be butchered." Said Trowa, breaking the silence.

"Do you guys just want to chuck our order at the side of the wall then? The combined sum is probably like fifteen bucks, so no loss..." Duo suggested.

"With the annoyances this place has given us, we might as well. The food is bound to be terrible. Hell, it probably won't even be what we wanted in the first place, so fuck it." Concluded Wufei.

"Well...you guys can. I kind of want my fries and milkshake" Laughed Quatre sheepishly. A woman then walked up to the window.

"Here you go, sir" said the drive-thru woman with a painted on smile that was eerily similar to the establishment's mascot. Heero grabbed the drink tray and 5 bags, flung a twenty at the woman, then raced to the parking lot on the other side. The young men then checked their respective orders.

"Mine's wrong" Stated Heero first.

"Likewise" added Trowa.

"I knew it" Growled Wufei, also angered at his butchered meal.

"What the shit, they didn't even wrap my burger! There's ketchup everywhere. It looks like they shot a Saw film in here!" claimed Duo, surprised at the amount of fail contained within the small, brown bag. The four guys then turned to Quatre to see if his already butchered order had been further corrupt by the evil of Ronald Macdonald's hell-house.

"This...This..."Quatre muttered, his eyes glazed.

"...Is Sparta?" asked Duo with a grin before getting a smack to the back of the head by Wufei.

"This isn't a milkshake..." Quarter continued. "This...is...a...SMOOTHIE!"

Quatre then stuck his torso out of the window closest to him and chucked the fail-smoothie as violently as he could at the drive-thru sign. With an almighty SPLAT the smoothie careened into the sign, causing it to fall over.

"FUCK YEAH!" Yelled Duo before hoping out of the vehicle and tossing his order at the window of the restaurant. The rest followed suit and decorated the establishment with their unsuitable meals. A man with a white shirt, black tie, and name tag then walked out of the Macdonald's and started shaking his fist at the boys while yelling insults and threats.

"Oh shit, it's the fuzz!" Joked Duo before doing a slide across the hood of the van and hoping into his seat. After all the boys quickly hoped into the van, Heero took off like a bat out of hell.

"Heero, did you modify this van?" Asked Trowa even though he knew the answer.

"This thing isn't even street legal anymore" Heero said as he smirked.

"Why'd you even mod a van? We're in Wisconsin, and the last time I checked cheese wasn't that fast." Claimed Duo, while slightly leaning out of his window. Then the boys heard police sirens going off behind them. Heero looked into his rear view mirror and saw a police car gaining on them.

"This van is also stolen." Stated Heero with another smirk as he sped up driving down the street, with no intention of stopping anytime soon.

Inspired by the time I tried to order the same thing Quatre did. The same thing happened. I pretty much didn't anything I wanted, so I settled for fries and a strawberry-banana smoothie. I ate it, but I wish I had thought to chuck it at the drive-thru window, lol.

If I get enough positive reviews I will continue this story :)


End file.
